Row Z: Ed Sheeran, the Stockley Park fire alarm and important Arrival Wear Partner news (2024)

Welcome to the 14th edition of Row Z, our weekly column on The Athleticshining a light on the bonkers side of the game.

From clubs to managers, players to organisations, every Friday we’ll bring you the absurdities, the greed, the contradictions, the preposterousness and the oddities of the game we all love…

Sir Jim Ratcliffe, February 2023: “We would want to help lead this next chapter, deepening the culture of English football by making the club a beacon for a modern, progressive, fan-centred approach to ownership.”

Ratcliffe, December 2023: “I wanted to write to you at this time given the critical role of the fans to the future of Manchester United as we recognise our responsibility as custodians of the club on your behalf.”

Ratcliffe, February 2024: “Yes, I’m not interested in the financial aspects of this investment at all, really, because I make enough money in chemicals and oil and gas. This is not a financial investment.”

Ratcliffe, November 2024: Doubles ticket prices in the middle of the season for old people and kids. Scraps a discount for Europa League tickets.

Oh, and the Manchester United Supporters Trust says the club provided “zero consultation”. #Beacon

August general opinion: “Yeah, to be fair it’s hard to look past Manchester City again this season.”

November: Win fewer games than San Marino. Pep Guardiola has to apologise for comments he makes about harming himself.

It’s been a tough week for poor old City (estimated wealth of their owners: £236billion) whose issues with injuries and depth (estimated value of squad: £1.26bn) have proved problematic. And to be fair, it’s not like they have a decent academy to turn to (number of under-21 and under-18 league titles won by City since 2020: six).

Former Germany player-turned-pundit Josephine Henning was asked to comment on City’s issues during Amazon Prime’s coverage of their 3-3 Champions League draw at home against Feyenoord on Tuesday.

And anyone who still has a problem with female pundits should take note of Henning being the only person to accurately describe City’s current predicament.

“If you want to accept that a situation is… I’m sorry on TV but… s**t, then you have to accept it.”

Well said.

"I think this is a mental thing… and you can't deny it"

Josephine Henning & Gael Clichy on Man City's dramatic draw with Feyenoord…#UCLonPrime pic.twitter.com/VXAZU90BM9

— Amazon Prime Video Sport (@primevideosport) November 26, 2024

The sacking of the season so far comes from the Championship.

Hull City, who you may remember dispensed with the services of Liam Rosenior at the end of last season despite finishing seventh, three points shy of the promotion play-offs, ditched his successor Tim Walter this week after 17 league games with the club third-bottom of the table.

Seems like a fair call, but you’ll have to go a long way to find a bigger U-turn in terms of a club’s owner publicly backing their manager.

Here’s a timeline of events…

• 6.37pm on Tuesday: Hull’s owner, Acun Ilicali, is live on BBC Radio Humberside before the home match against Sheffield Wednesday and the big topic of discussion is the team’s awful form and Walter’s position as manager.
  Some selected Ilicali quotes:
  “Everything needs time. We don’t feel like we (the team) are playing bad. It’s not right to blame somebody personally — it’s not all his (Walter’s) fault; it’s everybody’s fault.”
  “I would never put the blame on Tim. I’ll put the blame on me too.”
  “If we are searching for anybody to blame, blame me, blame my friends. I’m the one that’s guilty that we couldn’t deliver what Tim wanted.”
  “Why are we putting the blame on Tim when he doesn’t have the full squad?”
  And the killer question: “If you were to lose tonight, would Tim still be in a job?”
  Ilicali: “Yes, he will be in the job. If we lose tonight he’s going to be in the job.”
• 9.39pm: Final score — Hull City 0-2 Sheffield Wednesday.
• 5pm on Wednesday: Sacks Walter.

Sunday was a very confusing day for Ed Sheeran.

The world-famous Ipswich Town-supporting pop star may have conducted thousands of television interviews over the years but, when faced with a scene of Kelly Cates, Manchester United head coach Ruben Amorim, Roy Keane, Izzy Christiansen and Jamie Redknapp holding microphones in their hands, stood in front of a desk at pitchside, facing big cameras and under bright TV studio-esque lights following Ipswich’s 1-1 draw with United, he didn’t have a clue what was happening.

“Apologies if I offended Amorim yesterday,” Sheeran said after giddily bombarding the makeshift stage to say hello to Redknapp. “Didn’t actually realise he was being interviewed at the time.”

It’s a tough concept to grasp to be fair.

Ed Sheeran crashed Ruben Amorim's first post-match interview 😂 pic.twitter.com/cTSMgyTE8w

— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) November 24, 2024

Also on Sunday, the Stockley Park fire alarms went off! A truly glorious few minutes of peace and serenity as two Premier League teams played some football in the momentary knowledge that VAR wasn’t around to ruin anything.

But who set off the fire alarm? We’ve got the latest odds here.

• 3/1: An aggrieved David Coote and his anonymous good pal, who is currently trying to send footage of the moment to a UK national newspaper
• 4/1: An aggrieved Steve Cooper, who raged at refs’ body PGMOL yet again before being sacked as Leicester manager that afternoon
• 6/1: Bored VAR officials burning their toast.

Partnership news now, and Bournemouth have an Arrival Wear Partner (their capital letters, not The Athletic’s) in the form of Sandbanks, which has pledged to source clothes that “provide a range that the team can be proud of” as they walk into stadiums. No Departure Wear Partner yet, but stay posted.

And as part of their fancy new stadium development, Fulham have snapped up an Official Coffee Partner. Their commercial director, Jon Don-Carolis, said: “With innovation and sustainability at our core, partnering with a brand like Nespresso allows us to continue to prioritise these values within the overall guest, visitor and fan experience.”

Took the words right out of our mouth, Jon.

And Everton have joined forces with a Premium Vodka Partner, hooray! Tragically, Nemiroff Vodka missed a golden opportunity to use the tagline: “You’ll need plenty of this to get through Brentford at home.”

Hi.

Do you offer intravenous drips between 3pm and 5pm?

Thanks.

Evertonians.

— Watched Toffee (@WatchedToffee) November 22, 2024

Tim Spiers is a football journalist for The Athletic, based in London. He joined in 2019 having previously worked at the Express & Star in Wolverhampton. Follow Tim on Twitter @TimSpiers